Junior Football Parents And Coaching - A Very Local Experience In Junior Community Football _ Part 1

The Gathering Storm

Over the last two weeks, I had the misfortune to witness an Under 13 Boys school team implode! And we are only at round 5!

This disaster has its origin in junior football problems that are well know to many, and seem to evidence themselves in some form or combination every season at  Clubs or Schools.

But they are two different Football beasts - Clubs and Schools. They can produce remarkably different solutions to the same problems.

Football Clubs exist for only one purpose - Football. The Junior Clubs get the details right because they want the Club to prosper and the players to excel and enjoy the game. They are the heart and soul of community Football.

Schools that behave as Clubs in Football and enter teams in the Capital Football competitions have a great deal to offer the students. The opportunity to play with your mates at school, develop and enrich relationships that last a lifetime are powerful reasons to play for the school. In the case of the school team commented upon in this item, Football is a formal part of an excellent / diverse co-curricular program. The aims and objectives of the co-curricular program are good and central to the liberal and balanced education offerred by the school.

Community Clubs and Schools offerring football both have praisewrothy aims and objectives.

However, schools are always at risk of falling short if they do not think as a Club would think when offerring Football. Some schools  understand this requirement, including two schools who have for several years provided teams at the Under 16 and Under 18 years level to the Capital Football Premier League. They are well organised, engage with the parents, devolve authority and responsibilty (as does a community club), but maintain control over the critical pastoral care responsibilities. The school that fields the Under 13 team which is the subject of this article hasn't got here yet. That leaves the door open for the sort of problems that have emerged.

Clubs have passionate people for Football and plenty of parents volunteering to Coach / volunteer for varous management / support roles in season, because these Clubs only exist on the goodwill of the community. Parents recognise that if they don't put in, their children don't play. Even then its a year to year struggle. More power to them!

Schools that act as Clubs and enter teams in Capital Football competitions need passionate people in Football and they need  staff members who are strong advocates for Football within the school. If not, the Football co-ordinator in the school is simply a staff member who has no particular interest in football, but is dragooned into the job as part of their job. They do their best, but its not the same and not enough. Parents in schools need to be actively engaged to perform the functions that are undertaken on an ordinary basis in community Clubs. This can be a serious challenge for a school that is used to controlling everything and feels it may do it better than any other institution - they are not used to anyone outside staff. They prefer the parents "on theother side of the wire"! Alas, they can't have it both ways. Important information about running junior football goes unnoticed and unattended. Too often the parents know a little or a lot more about what is required at an orgainsational level than the school - particulary if their child (or a sibling) has played at a community Club in previous seasons.

These issues form part of the background context for this Local Football drama. As one famous international coach remaked to a reporter when asked what he thought mattered in his teams preparation for the World Cup - his response: "everything matters". Good teachers know that as do good community Club adminstrators and coaches.

This Under 13 boys team had lost every game this season, some had been big losses on the scoreboard, the players were finding it difficult, their had been next to no pre-season preparation time allocated by the school for the boys and Coach to prepare, the Coach was appointed by the school and qualified for the assignment, the selection process was organised by the school and conducted by an independent and well respected and qualified third party, recommendation was given to the school with regard to the most appropriate level of competition but not accepted, the the parents wanted a Div 1 team and got it, the parents became quickly disenchanted and vocal over the continuing losses and the likelihood of more to come (some parents far more so than others or is helpful), and not surprisingly, the language on the sideline from a few of the parents was not as you would wish for in the context of Coaching at any level of junior/youth football.

Its not an uncommon scenario in junior football. All too frequently, it is badly handled and at heavy cost to the game - the young players and coaches.

Reason, common sense and good judgement are abandoned in a flash by some parents who in other circumstances would in all likelihood be unsupportive of the behavior they exhibit in junior football. Some would say that a few of them are mugs in any circumstances. Maybe so. But the important issue flashes brightly - playing, having fun and the simple enjoyment of watching your son or daughter play is forgotten in the angst that is created because the team lost a game(s) of football.

What is it about junior football that brings the worst out in more parents than is healthy for the game?

I had to fill in for the coach of this team for a couple of sessions, while the Coach was away on a planned absence. While carrying the training gear back to my car, I looked back and there were the parents in a huddle, speaking among themselves and to the school representative. Some parents wanted out, others wanted to drop down a division, while some clear thinkers were focussed on what could be done to help the players, coach and keep it fun to play. The question of the moment for me was which way forward would they pursue and did they have the collective goodwill and common sense to do it? I had no idea.

Hard experience coaching at this school has left me wary of these situations. Common sense is not so common! But there they were, in a huddle, the Coach not invited to attend, the childern hanging around the sides, waiting to go home, having trained well and with good spirit once they got into it. Nothing wrong with the kids. The parents and school had got themsleves into a first rate mess.

Who would be the bloody Coach of this group of parents I mutterred to myself - because that's what you would be doing - always looking over your shoulder, rather than concentrating on the boys - maybe this Coach needs a medal. Do these parents, the ones that are making the noise, really think that any coach will trust them again? Perhaps that's too harsh I thought, I know some of these parents and they are good people, I know a few can be card carrying selfish and self interested pests, but they all agree on one thing - they all cherish their children and want the best for them. Strangely, that's where it all goes wrong. It had in this case, that's for sure. They hadn't improved anything for their chidlren in football, well not at this point anyway.

The school is no innocent bystander in this matter. They have a long track record of sub optimal performance when it comes to the delivery of a quality Football co-curricular program. Parents over the years have tried to fix the problem, failed to carry the day because there was simply not  enough of them to create an impact the school could not afford to ignore and to be frank, had been opposed or undermined by some staff. Parents of rugby playing boys were delighted and made it known where it counts at the school. Squeaky gates get oiled first in this school and that might be the lesson some parents in football have picked up on. But they seldom speak for football, just their boy(s). The Football Association lies like a dried out carcass in a drought. But that's another story.

One thing is certain, the school is not responsible for the behaviour of parents in this team - the parents can do a lot to help the boys and the Coach - they can do a hell of lot if they get organised and direct some of their frustration toward the school, in order to have the school recalibrate it's Football program compass. Its for the parents to demonstrate principled leadership. Alas, in large majority they are bystanders to the real problems, preferring to mutter dark thoughts on the sidelines, finger point at the Coach and perhaps harbour the secret fear that if they do speak it will adversely affect their children at the school.

How did everyone get so far apart? And why Football? It doesn't seem to happen in Rugby at the school and good luck to them I say.

I intend to write a little more about this saga - its instructive. Can the school and the parents dig themselves out of the junior football dung heap they have navigated their chidlren into, or will some just dig a little deeper? What will happen to the boys? How will the coach move forward? How will the school respond?

Resetting the Football Compass - Start With The Parents!
First thing - its never too late to try to get it right. You can't give up on the young players.
The following is sourced from www.kidsfirstsoccer.com/

Several Studies Have Identified the Following "Truths" About Children and Sports:
Reproduced from: Ewing, M. E. & Seefeldt, V. (1990)

• FUN IS PIVOTAL; IF IT ISN'T "FUN," YOUNG PEOPLE WON'T PLAY A SPORT.
• SKILL DEVELOPMENT IS A CRUCIAL ASPECT OF FUN; IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINNING EVEN AMONG THE BEST ATHLETES.
• THE MOST REWARDING CHALLENGES OF SPORTS ARE THOSE THAT LEAD TO SELF-KNOWLEDGE.
• INTRINSIC REWARDS (SELF-KNOWLEDGE THAT GROWS OUT OF SELF-COMPETITION) ARE MORE IMPORTANT IN CREATING LIFETIME ATHLETES THAN ARE EXTRINSIC REWARDS (VICTORY OR ATTENTION FROM OTHERS). 

Suggestions for Parents 

• REMEMBER THE "BIG TRUTHS" AND BEAR THEM IN MIND WHEN YOU TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN (AFTER A GAME, ASK ABOUT "FUN," "SKILL IMPROVEMENT," "LEARNING EXPERIENCES").
• LOOK AT YOURSELF AS PART OF THE TEAM AND BE SUPPORTIVE OF THE COACH; AVOID SETTING UP A CONFLICT IN YOUR CHILD'S MIND BETWEEN HER OR HIS PARENTS AND COACHES. IF YOU WANT TO AFFECT THE COACHING, VOLUNTEER TO HELP.
• DEVELOP PERSPECTIVE: REMEMBER WHAT YOU COULD DO AT YOUR CHILDREN'S AGES; DON'T JUDGE THEM BY WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW.
• TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOUR CHILD WANTS FROM SPORTS - NOT ALL CHILDREN LOOK FOR THE SAME THINGS. DETERMINE IF HE OR SHE WANTS TO BE INVOLVED AT ALL.

What Can the Parent and Coach Do?

•  SEVERAL STUDIES HAVE IDENTIFIED THE FOLLOWING "TRUTHS" ABOUT YOUTH AND COMPETITIVE SPORTS:
• FUN IS PIVOTAL; IF IT ISN'T "FUN," YOUNG PLAYERS WON'T ENDURE THE HARDSHIPS AND SACRIFICES THAT ARE NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL AND SUCCESS IN THE HIGHLY COMPETITIVE WORLD OF Youth Sports.
• SKILL DEVELOPMENT IS A CRUCIAL ASPECT OF FUN; IT IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WINNING EVEN AMONG THE MOST COMPETITIVE AND MOST SUCCESSFUL ATHLETES.
• THE MOST REWARDING CHALLENGES OF SPORTS ARE THOSE THAT LEAD TO SELF-DISCOVERY AND SELF-KNOWLEDGE.
• INTRINSIC REWARDS (SELF-KNOWLEDGE THAT GROWS OUT OF SELF-COMPETITION) ARE MORE IMPORTANT IN CREATING LIFETIME ATHLETES THAN ARE EXTRINSIC REWARDS (VICTORY OR ATTENTION FROM OTHERS).